Free Guide – 3 Things You Need to Know About Cancer: https://www.katiedeming.com/cancer-101/
Could your subconscious mind be sabotaging your health and happiness without you even realizing it?
Dr. Katie Deming welcomes Peter Crone, renowned as “The Mind Architect,” to explore the hidden ways our deep-seated beliefs and mental frameworks mold our lives – often without our conscious awareness.
Peter offers compelling insights into how our early life experiences and cultural influences construct subconscious barriers that hinder our personal growth and overall well-being. You'll discover why positive thinking alone is often insufficient, and how to tap into the deeper recesses of your mind to effect meaningful, lasting transformation.
Key takeaways:
• How childhood experiences shape subconscious beliefs
• Learn techniques to access your subconscious mind
• Discover the link between subconscious beliefs and physical health
• Perfectionism as a potential sign of underlying inadequacy
• Reframe societal narratives around illness for better healing
Chapters:
06:59 – Self-judgment that constrain us
12:13 – Awareness is key to changing limiting beliefs.
22:11 – How to cultivate love, compassion, acceptance
26:35 – Self-sabotage's emotional impact
30:05 – What suppression of emotions perpetuates
A particularly fascinating aspect of their conversations revolves around the profound impact our subconscious beliefs can have on our physical health. Gain valuable understanding into the reasons some individuals appear to heal more readily than others, and learn how to leverage the power of your mind to support your own path to wellness.
Peter and Dr. Katie explore the concept of perfectionism as a coping mechanism. They discuss how this seemingly positive trait can actually stem from deep-seated feelings of inadequacy and potentially contribute to stress-related health issues.
Peter also shares his perspective on the purpose of life, framing it as an opportunity for spiritual evolution rather than the pursuit of material comforts. This shift in mindset can have profound implications for how we approach challenges and setbacks in our lives.
The discussion concludes with a powerful examination of how societal narratives around illness, particularly cancer, can impact our healing process. Peter and Dr. Katie offer a refreshing perspective on reframing these narratives to support better health outcomes.
Listen and learn the practical tips and strategies you can start using right away to become more aware of your subconscious patterns and begin reshaping them.
Connect with Peter Crone: https://www.petercrone.com/
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Read the Transcript Below:
Have you ever felt like you're sabotaging your own health and happiness without even knowing why? Today's sit down with Peter Krone, known as the mind architect. Peter's helped world class athletes, celebrities, and everyday people unlock their greatest potential by redesigning their subconscious mind. He's here to share how our hidden beliefs can impact our health, happiness, and even our ability to heal from serious illnesses like cancer. You'll learn about the common subconscious patterns that hold us back, why perfectionism might be hurting you more than helping, and how to break free from these invisible prisons. Stay until the end to hear Peter's practical advice on how to become aware of your limiting beliefs and start making real changes in your life. He offers a fresh perspective on how to find true freedom and purpose. You're listening to the Born to Heal podcast, and I'm your host, doctor Katie Deming. After 2 decades of practicing as an oncologist and caring for thousands of patients, I've seen firsthand how our healthcare system places obstacles in your path to true healing.Dr. Katie Deming [00:01:09]:
My guests and I will bridge the worlds of Western medicine and alternative healing to help you achieve optimal health. Expect to uncover new insights, share a few laughs, and maybe even shed some tears along the way. But most of all, we'll learn how to heal from within together. So let's dive into today's episode. I am thrilled today to be joined by Peter Krone. Peter Krone is known as the mind architect and has helped some of the most talented people in the world unlock their greatest potential. He works with everyone from world class athletes to stay at home parents to redesign the subconscious mind. Welcome, Peter, to the show.Peter Crone [00:01:52]:
Thanks, doc. Nice to be with you.Dr. Katie Deming [00:01:54]:
It's so nice to have you. So, you know, I wanted to start with just, like, what started you on this path of beginning to work with unlocking the human potential via the subconscious mind?Peter Crone [00:02:07]:
Gosh. I think there was many catalysts, you know, predominantly, I would assert the fact that by virtue of being human, we're all very curious, and I would say that curiosity has a certain underpinning of, wanting to maximize our experience as human beings, so correlates to the potential part. So I think it's sort of inbred that we are just by design wanting to create the best versions of ourselves. And then I think, you know, for me personally, I went through a series of events so we could say we're kind of trying, challenging, traumatic, and a fair amount of adversity. As is always the case, triggers are more negative responses. For me, it was more sadness, hopelessness, pointlessness. And I realized that that was all based on my interpretation of life. It wasn't necessarily the events themselves, albeit as human beings we could interpretation of life.Peter Crone [00:02:54]:
It wasn't necessarily the events themselves, albeit as human beings we could collectively agree that for me, my both my parents dying at a young age is not particularly ideal. That wasn't where the suffering was. And so I started to recognize that human suffering, which then, you know, cascades into our physiology and something you understand and becomes disease from the psychological dis ease that we have, I sort of saw the matrix and realized, well, I don't wanna do that to myself anymore. So when I sort of lifted the veil of our own self sabotaging tendencies and these subconscious constraints and prisons that we all have, I was able to start to see them very readily in other people and help them step out of them.
Dr. Katie Deming [00:03:34]:
I love that. And can you tell us, how do you define the subconscious mind? Like, can you explain for our audience how you think about that? What does that mean for you?
Peter Crone [00:03:45]:
Yeah. I think if you keep it as simplistic as possible, if we look at conscious, you know, that which we're aware of, and subconscious is sort of just beneath that. Right? So it's sort of submarine, you know, so it's just below that which we're conscious of. And it takes a little bit of excavating and reverse engineering to be able to access it, but I would assert it's the most powerful part of our mind slash identity because it's the very foundational habits, beliefs that we create usually during those formative years of our childhood. So it sort of becomes the blind spots to our behavior, our automatic ways of living, being, and reacting to life, driven by those subconscious patterns. So it's that which is just beneath the surface of what we tend to ruminate on, and ideate on, and think about. But it is really the the pillars of those thoughts, Right? The genesis of the thoughts that we're conscious of and aware of are coming from these subconscious, well ingrained, usually sadly, limitations, but also some really, you know, great utilities such as knowing how to put a fork in your mouth and walk. Right? It's great that we have a lot of habits that we don't have to think about too.
Dr. Katie Deming [00:04:52]:
Yeah. Absolutely. And I think one of the things that I talk about with my clients a lot is that, you know, the conscious mind is only controlling about 5% of our behaviors and actions, thoughts. And 95% of that is, as you describe, under the surface, you know, outside of our conscious awareness. And this is one thing I think particularly for people who are healing is that consciously, they know the right things to do. They, you know, they want to have healing in their body. They're doing the right things. But if your subconscious is contrary to that, if things have been programmed in there that go against what you know consciously, you'll
Peter Crone [00:05:41]:
continue to sabotage that. And that's why I think this is a big part of
Dr. Katie Deming [00:05:41]:
my practice is dealing with the subconscious mind because you are unaware of it, and it's driving 95% of your behaviors, actions, and thoughts. So all of that makes total sense.
Peter Crone [00:05:56]:
Pretty significant. Yep. I concur. People have all the best intentions. That's why I like to have a lot of compassion and patience with people because they're aware of things they should be doing or things they're doing that they shouldn't be doing. They know that. But until they understand the deeper mechanisms that are driving those behaviors unconsciously, subconsciously, then, you know, they're always gonna probably fall prey to these, self fulfilling prophecies of I'm not loved, I'm not wanted, I'm not good enough, whatever it might be. So that's where the treasure lies.
Dr. Katie Deming [00:06:24]:
Absolutely. Well, and, you know, you work with such a broad range of people, right, from, you know, world class athletes to everyday, you know, stay at home moms who are, you know, struggling with similar issues. I'm wondering if you see commonalities that, you know, as the human experience that even with such a wide range of people that you work with, that there are commonalities that are programmed in the subconscious that are blocking people or impacting the outcomes that they're receiving.
Peter Crone [00:06:59]:
For sure. I think, you know, it may seem asinine in terms of whoever designed the human ego, but the default setting is really self judgment, self loathing, and absence of self love. And so when you live within that terrain and that culture, emotionally energetically, you know, you don't have to be a rocket scientist to realize that your physiology and also your psychology are gonna be compromised quite dramatically. So it doesn't matter who I'm working with, what I'm revealing, because I would assert life is a revelatory process, it's it's not that because mom or dad said something that you feel you're not good enough, I would assert that was the constraint you arrived with. And so it shows up, it's sort of immaterial what you do. You could be, you know, I'm talking to an athlete who's in the World Series in baseball, or a guy who's playing at the Masters for golf, or a rock star who's in front of a 110,000 people, you know, in London, or it doesn't really matter what someone does, the opportunity is to see where life is revealing these constraints. Right? So everybody's got them. I have through my own downloads and meditation delineated what I call these 10 primal prisons, which I will be talking about in my book that I'm working on.
Peter Crone [00:08:08]:
But some of the most common ones that people can relate to are, you know, that I'm not good enough, or there's something wrong with me, or I'm not loved, for example. These these are all sort of placeholders for the human psyche that everyone has had an experience of. Some compensate for, mitigate, try to avoid, some don't even, you know, give attention to, some buy right into, and think that they're worthless, and they live alone, or they become drug addicts. There's many many different ways that people react to these commonalities that we all have.
Dr. Katie Deming [00:08:36]:
Yeah. No. And and I I I can see that that, you know, it doesn't matter what you're doing in the external world. All of us have it had experiences of things in our childhood where we've received, you know, either input or criticism or whatever that is. And depending on how people internalize it, it shows up in their life. And that that is regardless of where their stature is, what they're doing in the outside world.
Peter Crone [00:09:04]:
Yep. Yeah. Because the imperative of pretty much every mammal and particularly a human being as it relates to the psyche is to be right. What most people don't realize is what they're being right about is, you know, completely deleterious to the experience of their life. You know?
Dr. Katie Deming [00:09:20]:
Yeah. So that's that's so interesting that say that again so people say that again about being right.
Peter Crone [00:09:28]:
The the the imperative, the prerogative of any ego or identity, the persona, because it's founded on these pillars of usually some sense of what I call negation. Right? I'm not something. It's an inflict on our own, divine essence that to me I would assert is full. Right? So if I'm saying I'm not something, then in language, I'm actually creating a rift or a division between the true essence of myself and the view of myself. And so the the imperative of the ego, because it's fictitious, it's it's based in language, it has to find evidence to be right. So one of my quotes I write in quotes, I say being right is the poor man's version of self worth. So even if you say, oh, see, I knew that relationship was too good to be true, whether it be romantic or professional where someone got fired, What they're doing in that moment is they've lost what is fulfilling for them, joyous, it's based in love, or it's based in security of a paycheck, but the ego still gets to be right about the fact that it was too good to be true. You see, you start to see, you know, the the asinine nature of the self fulfilling prophecy of our identity and its limitations.
Peter Crone [00:10:31]:
And then you start to understand why most people have, you know, a myriad of forms of escape. Right? Whether it be the basics of alcohol, nicotine, a lot of people smoke weed, you know, some people it's just food, for some people it's prescription drugs, street drugs, it could be sex. There's a myriad of ways that people try to mitigate their suffering, which is based in this, you know, wanting to be the self righteousness of the ego, based in some constraint, which is deleterious to the experience of my fullness of life. And then, you know, we have the different ways to try and find pleasure. So then you start to really understand the society we live in.
Dr. Katie Deming [00:11:04]:
Yeah. Well, and it's just basically a self fulfilling prophecy that Yep. They're then continuing to buy into this story of limitation, and then the escapism becomes problematic and and further reinforces that. So again, one question I have for you is, like, how do you escape that? How do you escape that, you know, being right and the ego?
Peter Crone [00:11:30]:
Yes. So the the the access to escape to use your word is awareness. So I talk about 2 predominant buckets that I help people to discover. 1st step is awareness. So meaning to be aware of the subconscious patterns that currently are driving your thoughts, feelings, and actions, and consequently results. Once you're aware of it to notice, oh, wow, I'm actually being right, even though I love my wife, my husband, my children, my my coworkers, but I'm actually more committed to being right than I am to being happy, free, or loving. Once you see that, you start to recognize how completely contrary to one's own experience of joy that is, and you then can make a better choice. That's when you start to introduce actual choice versus figurative choice.
Peter Crone [00:12:13]:
So that's the first bucket is to bring awareness to whatever the pattern is, and then practice is to start living in a different way, having different thoughts, feelings, actions, consequently results. So awareness is the first key to go, oh my gosh, I have for 30, 40, 50 years thought that I wasn't good enough because fill in the blank, whatever the justification was, my oldest sibling was a better athlete, the better academic, and they got more attention from my parents. So ipsofactor, I correlated that relationship to mean that my relationship with my parents wasn't as special, and therefore I'm not good enough. And I have now got a job in middle management, I've just gone through a divorce, and I feel that my whole prospect of wealth, and health, and happiness is is compromised. But really what it's all doing is reinforcing that I'm not good enough, which I made up when I was 5. Right? So the awareness of that, and then you can see the impact it has, which is usually very costly, you know, sometimes the point of people's actual life, right? People take their life when they're living within these prisons that create so much suffering and discontent. Then you can start to make choices to the contrary and go, wow, is it really true? And that's sort of the step I take people through to check the validity of that story, that constraint. You know, you have the evidence for it, but it's not an actual truth.
Peter Crone [00:13:25]:
And when you see there's not a truth, you can start to at least investigate what it might be like to live outside of that prism. And for the most part, people's experience usually is in the realm of, gosh, I feel so lighter, I feel happier. I feel freer. I feel more at peace, and that gives rise to an entirely different type of human being who makes different choices.
Dr. Katie Deming [00:13:44]:
Yeah. Well, and, you know, one of the things that I talk about in healing cancer specifically is change is required, that you really, you know, if you've created illness from this life that you've been living, that getting out of that really requires changing all aspects of your life. And and this, I love that. So, you know, awareness, being aware of those subconscious patterns that are creating the reality that you have currently and then checking the validity of those stories that you've created because they're just made up, like you said, that Yep. We've just made these up in little children, actually. You know? So these all of these impressions of the subconscious mind happens, you know, between ages 0 8 for the most part, and then traumatic emotionally charged events actually continue to program that. But, you know, challenging that to say, okay, is this story that I've been living with and creating from, is that serving me? And then choosing something different. And I like that you use the word practice because I think this is one of the things that I talk to people about.
Dr. Katie Deming [00:14:57]:
They feel so stuck. Right? They feel like, well, but it's real. Like, I'm really trapped in this terrible life and all of these things that are happening, but it doesn't happen overnight. It's having that awareness and then starting to practice a different way of showing up Yep. Inside. And then the outside, you know, your external life then starts to reflect what you have inside.
Peter Crone [00:15:21]:
Exactly. Yeah. It's physics.
Dr. Katie Deming [00:15:23]:
Yeah. Exactly.
Peter Crone [00:15:24]:
It's actually just physics. Yep.
Dr. Katie Deming [00:15:26]:
Yeah. So all of that makes so much sense to me. And, you know, I've heard you say life is about spiritual evolution, not circumstantial comforts. And I absolutely agree with the statement, but I'd love to hear you share more about this and why are we here? What is the purpose of life?
Peter Crone [00:15:46]:
Great question. A small topic. Right? The the meaning of life. For me, you know, the opportunity that it is to be human versus many animals. I had a beautiful dog for 13 years, and he's not sitting and reflecting on these subjects, right? He's not interested in self actualization or realization. He just wants to go for a walk and, you know, sleep and eat food and cuddle. But for the human being that we are, we have the opportunity to transcend the constraints with which we arrive, which is, you know, under the auspices of spiritual evolution. So if we arrive and we have these limitations that are by design creating suffering, which lead to dysfunction, discomfort, discontent, disease, then the opportunity, we could say the purpose of life is to break free.
Peter Crone [00:16:27]:
So for me, it's sort of a cosmic hide and seek. Right? That the human psyche that I've become misidentified with, but yet by design is based in limitations and constraints, and the opportunity for me, the esque, and to realize that my inherent nature is freedom, my inherent nature is love, my inherent nature is worth and value. And so that to me is the the opportunity that it is to be human, whereas most people get caught up, you know, to reference my quote, in material, like, circumstantial comfort, which is the illusion that I'll be happy when the events and circumstances of my life are in the way that I want them to be. I have the amount of followers I want, I have the amount of money I want, my body's perfect, my partner is, you know, behaving the way I want them to. I have the dream house, all of that, which is, you know, sort of the exogenous way to try and find happiness, which is exhausting. Because then what happens is if things don't get to that place, you're chasing the proverbial horizon which you never get to, or even if they do, then you're so scared that things are gonna be disrupted, or you're gonna lose certain things. Either way, you're still in a state of suffering. So to be able to sort of be, have that equanimity to circumstances, of course, we can have preferences.
Peter Crone [00:17:42]:
I like to live a certain life, I like to be healthy, I like to have, you know, a car that works and a nice home and good food. But ultimately, true freedom, which is my main product, is to recognize we're spiritual beings, for now, at least usually bamboozled in the limitations of human experience. And the opportunity to discover our own divine timeless nature is to transcend those constraints with which we've become misidentified with.
Dr. Katie Deming [00:18:06]:
Yeah. Well and I think also one of the things that when I think about this issue or idea of that we're here as spiritual beings to evolve and grow, growth happens through challenges. And Yep. That without the challenges, you don't have that evolution and growth. And I think that we've been sold through programming and society, this idea of that you're looking to create the perfect life. You're looking to create all of these destinations, which
Peter Crone [00:18:42]:
Mhmm.
Dr. Katie Deming [00:18:42]:
As you describe, it's not about the destination. It's about becoming free and limitless and and detaching from all these things. But I think sometimes those ideas feel esoteric and too abstract for people to grab onto. And I think one of the things that I think about is that it's not meant to be the perfect lifestyle, and this perfect ideal of a life is a story that has been sold to us that is actually not what this lifetime is about at all. Yeah. That is not why we're here. This earth is a place where it's full of contrast. You know, there is there are lots of hard lessons to be learned, but that's actually why we come here Mhmm.
Dr. Katie Deming [00:19:27]:
Is to experience that contrast, is to experience those limitations so that we can transcend that and open to this freedom and unlock from the confines of our ego. So I don't know how you feel about that as well in terms of, you know, this place that actually we are here to experience the challenges, and and that's how we grow.
Peter Crone [00:19:52]:
A 100%. I mean, you just, in your own words, of course, reiterated what I said. You know, that we become misidentified, we're constrained, and the opportunity is to break out of that and realize actually my true nature is freedom. That's the, you know, the quintessential, as I said, cosmic hide and seek or the Houdini that's escaping the straitjacket that is our ego. Right? Yeah. That's the opportunity. That's the joy also, right, of conquering limitation. When we overcome fears and limitations, there's a sense of accomplishment, which is also part of our evolution, and a sense of like really, you know, fulfilling on our potentialities.
Dr. Katie Deming [00:20:27]:
Yeah. Let me ask you this. For people who are dealing with illness, like, say, cancer, which is probably a lot of people's biggest fear
Peter Crone [00:20:36]:
Yep. Especially after the last few years.
Dr. Katie Deming [00:20:39]:
Say that again?
Peter Crone [00:20:40]:
Especially after the last few years in the agenda and the super cancers that have been created. Yeah.
Dr. Katie Deming [00:20:44]:
Yeah. What do you say about fear and illness in someone who is dealing with a serious diagnosis like that and and the fear is real, what would you say to that, and how how would you approach that?
Peter Crone [00:20:59]:
Well, I think all of those words are bedfellows. Right? If you look at the fear, the illness, and the seriousness, to me, they all create a sense of suffering. And so we could say I use the word disease as the precursor to disease. So whatever it is that anyone's dealing with, to me it's usually downstream of something that's been happening usually for decades, certainly years, internally where the terrain of somebody's actual mind, and emotional body, and then physiology is is hostile, it's unpleasant, it's filled with hatred, it's filled with loathing, it's filled with anger. And so cells that are bathed in that kind of emotion, they are going to lose the natural intelligence where they're not, replicating correctly, they're not full of vitality or prana. And so they're all those words that you use, there's nothing serious about a diagnosis, it's just a diagnosis. The subjective way that again we react to it, the seriousness, somebody could be told that they you know, had some tumor removed, and that it was malignant, and they could create an immense amount of fear that would then be the precursor to metastasizing, and then becoming even more sick. Right? Conversely, if a fortune teller came in just after they got that diagnosis, and said, yes, that was the case, you got a tumor removed and it's malignant, but that you're gonna be completely cancer free in 3 months.
Peter Crone [00:22:11]:
It's the same diagnosis, but now they don't have any fear because they've got this perception of the future where everything works out. So you start to see the self fulfilling prophecy of how we view the world that we're stepping into. Unfortunately, with things like cancer, again, there's such a deleterious story that's been associated with it, and I'm not in any way denying what happens. My mom died of cancer when I was 7, you know, it wasn't an easy thing for a little boy to go through. But there's also many, many millions of people who not only get diagnosed with cancer, but millions more who have cancer cells that don't actually manifest into anything of any significance. So for me, the most powerful thing anyone can do as it relates to their health and their healing is to recognize what's the terrain you're living in, as it relates to the way you're viewing yourself and your life, which is either creating a level of resistance, which is a tense and a hostile environment, or it's creating an environment that is based in love and compassion, acceptance, possibility, which is a very vital type of environment for cells to be, you know, living in, and to replicate healthily in. So that's what I would say to people is instead of worrying about your diagnosis, or what pills you're supposed to be taking, I would invite people to look a little bit over their shoulder. And who have I been for the last few years, months, or maybe even a decade plus, that I've been living in resentment or hatred towards my parents or my mom, that I feel, you know, bitter about the fact that my husband or my wife left me.
Peter Crone [00:23:31]:
I feel, you know, less than because of my siblings who are more successful. Whatever environment somebody's creating inside of their own internal physiology, that's where the treasure lies, and that's where the healing happens.
Dr. Katie Deming [00:23:43]:
Yeah. Absolutely. Well, and that's that's basically this whole show. We talk about that is that, you know, what have you, where have you been living from Yeah. And what's created this, and then shifting. And and also, again, coming back to just the story, like you described, is the narrative that we've been fed, not only about how what life is supposed to look like, but also with cancer, we've been fed this story that is fear based, that wants to keep people stuck in this so that then they just go for treatments that are more toxic you know, more toxicity that we're putting into the body so we're actually even weakening the terrain further with the treatments, and it's just a vicious cycle that that people get trapped in. So
Peter Crone [00:24:31]:
It's very intentionally created. Right? Like there's, you know, the the industry loses money to healthy people. So then why would a business that thrives on people being sick want anything to do with true curative or preventative measures. Right? I mean, even the wording you see, like, you know, we'll be watching the world series here in a few weeks, and usually they have everybody stand up with a sign that appeals to the beauty, compassion, and love of a human being who probably has lost someone to cancer, and it says, stand up to cancer, fight against cancer. Right? And it's that word fight which is, you know, we could say energetically the precursor to cancer, because that's creating the war within ourselves. And these words I would assert are chosen very intentionally to sustain the sickness and the disease that is society that then adds to the coffers of the people who are making billions off people who aren't well. You know, it might be a sort of a macabre way to look at things, but you know, it's also the the way that, unfortunately, people are starting or fortunately, starting to wake up to what's been transpiring the last 3 or 4 years with all of these lies, propaganda, and the agendas that clearly don't have humanity, in its best interest.
Dr. Katie Deming [00:25:39]:
Yeah. Well, and actually, what you just described, the battle language, that's my TEDx talk, is how the battle language that we use to talk about cancer is making us sick. It's the exact opposite of what we should be doing to help ourselves heal.
Peter Crone [00:25:56]:
Yeah.
Dr. Katie Deming [00:25:56]:
One question I have for you is, you know, a lot of this for people can feel kind of cerebral and the the ideas of it, but one of the things is the emotion. You know? Yes. The I'm wondering what your thoughts are on either processing and experiencing emotions as people are working through this because it's one thing to say, okay, we need to let go of the fear and we need to move to love and compassion, but how do you think about processing negative emotions, moving through negative emotions? What is your approach to that piece?
Peter Crone [00:26:35]:
Well, the 2 parts of the question, when I think about it is it's vital. Right? Like, so it's all energy at the end of the day. And then in terms of the process, again, I come back to what I said, which is awareness. And when you bring awareness to a constraint that has been dictating someone's thoughts, feelings, and actions, and results, for a decade, usually, the emotions are pretty self evident. You know, when somebody really sees, wow, the degree to which they have sabotaged their life, their health, their relationships because of some deep seated constraint of not being loved or not being enough, the amount of sadness, and grief, and shame that comes to the surface is usually pretty readily available. Certainly, when I work with people, as people become aware of the cage and the prison that they've been living in for usually many years, often decades, the impact that it has on them is usually written over their face immediately. So it's not even something they have to actively do, it's just by realizing, wow, I have so hateful to myself for 30 years. And when you really see that, and also see the absolute pretense of it, meaning that it was founded on something that a child made up, which was not in any sort of degree of truth, then there's a real sense of just shame, guilt, hopelessness, wasted time, what have I been doing? And then there's usually with it the myriad of experiences that that person has had through their life where loved ones have left them, or they've sabotaged beautiful job opportunities.
Peter Crone [00:27:58]:
They've wasted money. They squandered health through having addictive substances. And when you really look at that and presence it for yourself, you can't not feel some sort of deep seated emotion which is part of the healing to be able to release that. Whether that be in the form of usually tears, you know, but oftentimes it can be just, you know, screaming or anger and frustration at oneself. So it's both imperative. And as far as my work is concerned, it's synchronistic and simultaneous to the awareness.
Dr. Katie Deming [00:28:27]:
Yeah. Absolutely. Well and I think this is a a big piece of, you know, people that I see are experiencing cancer. And the one of the things that they get caught in, like, this loop is that they're you know, they know that they the negative thoughts and the feelings, the fear are potentially creating more disease in the body, but then they get, like, oh, then I'm bad for having these feelings, and then they shove it down. And Yeah. Part of what I work with people on is, you know, you have to move through that. You have to let that energy of those emotions run through you and release so that you can then get to this next level of releasing, you know, and being in love. Because one of the things that I see is you know, again, this comes back to the conscious versus the cup subconscious mind where they consciously know, okay, I don't wanna be caught in these negative emotions, but then the negative thoughts are coming up.
Dr. Katie Deming [00:29:34]:
So then they push it down, and then you've got this disconnect between what's happening in the subconscious and the conscious. Yeah. And they can't move past that. And I and I hear you in terms of awareness being the link there of, like, creating that awareness of this disconnect of what they wanna create and what's happening inside them. But I think it's really important for people to know that it's not about pushing that down or not experiencing that. It's moving through it and allowing that energy to be released from your body.
Peter Crone [00:30:05]:
Yeah. And even in your wording, right, in your languaging, you say they push that down. The they, you know, obviously, it sounds like pretty obvious you're pointing to whoever's got the emotion or the diagnosis, but the they that they are for themselves is the limitation that created the sickness that is also now causing the oppression. Right? So we wanna look at who are they that they feel that it's inappropriate or not allowed to have an emotion. Right? Who was the little boy who was told not to cry? Who was the little girl who was emotional and told to go to her room? So that they that they are, they have learned some sort of narrative, which is reinforcing the sickness that has been there festering usually for many years, that's now actually being compromised further or added to by virtue of the same they that is based in a constraint where my emotions aren't appropriate, or my needs don't matter, or I'm not allowed to express myself. Right? So you see the action of oppression or suppression of one's emotions belongs to the same identity that created the sickness in the 1st place. So that is the vicious cycle and the self fulfilling prophecy of these constraints of the subconscious identity.
Dr. Katie Deming [00:31:07]:
Yeah. And that brings us to the the concept of identity that, you know, we're all creating from our identity. And if we're identifying with that child that is, you know, been programmed with or adopted these ideas of limitation, that's who's creating and Yeah. Unlocking that to change your identity to someone who is free from those stories. So I love that. That's actually beautiful.
Peter Crone [00:31:34]:
Thank you.
Dr. Katie Deming [00:31:36]:
So one other question I had for you is you say that perfectionism is a behavioral adaptation to believing you're inadequate. And I just I wanna talk about that because actually perfectionism is something that is quite common. Particularly, I've specialized in women's cancer and breast cancer specific. And Mhmm. Perfectionism is something that is quite common.
Peter Crone [00:32:00]:
Yeah. You know?
Dr. Katie Deming [00:32:00]:
And I'm just wondering if you could expand on that.
Peter Crone [00:32:03]:
Yeah. Sure. So perfectionism, if you look at it as a behavioral adaptation, it's a coping strategy. Right? Like there's no such thing as perfect. That's a story. You could go into, anyone's home and see how it's been designed, the way that the throws and cushions are organized on a perfectly situated couch, the way the plates are stacked and glasses are perfectly in alignment in someone's cabinet, and so this is perfect. But to somebody else it's not. Right? So we first of all have to recognize it's a complete, it's an illusion.
Peter Crone [00:32:31]:
Right? So perfectionism is really a behavior, it's something that people are aspiring to that's not actually attainable. So then we wanna look at the genesis of it, and we realize, okay, if someone's trying to, achieve something that's actually unachievable, then you start to realize, well, who that person must be for themselves is that they're not fundamentally accepting of who they are. Right? Because otherwise they wouldn't be trying to do something in order to garner really love and acceptance, which is the imperative of a kid, because if you don't have love and acceptance when you're a child, you're not gonna make it. You're gonna be kicked out of the tribe, and you're not gonna survive because there's bigger predators. Right? So really if you get it down to its primal instincts that we all have, where fundamentally we just want to be loved by everyone around us, and perfectionism is one of the means by which people think that they're gonna garner that. Right? If you have the perfect appearance, whether it be your own body, your car, your office, your home, then maybe I will win favor with my community, and that's where I feel some level of value, worth, or love, and acceptance. What that shows is, and this again is one of the precursors to sickness, is that I don't have those qualities for myself, is what somebody who's pursuing perfectionism is saying. Because if they did, they wouldn't need to be perfect because they've got that profound inner peace where they are totally comfortable inside of their own skin.
Peter Crone [00:33:49]:
So when you start to see the mechanism go, Holy shit, who must I be in the way that I relate to myself? That is the precursor and the genesis of my perfectionism as a behavior, then that's where you can start to have some big epiphanies and go, wow, ever since I've been a kid, I didn't think that I was fundamentally love for me, but rather love and acceptance, acknowledgments, reassurance was all based on me performing. Because I was a good kid, I was well behaved, I was an academic, I was an athlete, and that's when I would get attention from mom and dad. So that's now over time cascaded into the behaviors of an adult, where I think now that I still have to perform, in this case make everything around me look perfect in order to be loved and accepted, which again just to repeat for the people in the back at home, you know, that that's all that's doing is reinforcing that you don't have love and acceptance for yourself. Which is totally fine, because that's called being human. But it's exhausting to try and get it from other people, and it's only gonna perpetuate the fact that you don't have it for yourself.
Dr. Katie Deming [00:34:44]:
Got it. Yeah. No. And that makes
Peter Crone [00:34:46]:
pretty simple, really.
Dr. Katie Deming [00:34:47]:
Yeah. I'm kidding. Well, thank you, Peter, so much for being on the show. It's been a pleasure chatting with you, and I know that my listeners are going to get so much from this. Can you tell people where to find you?
Peter Crone [00:35:00]:
Sure. The dizzy heights of Instagram is just all of it's my name, actually. So at Peter Krome, crone, c r o n e, same for my website, petercrone.com. Facebook is also Peter Krone, I think the mind architect. Yeah. And if people are really moved or inspired by what I shared, you know, we just not that long ago introduced a monthly membership called Freedom because I wanna help people find freedom in all areas of their life, financial freedom, health freedom, relationship freedom, and there's over 80 plus hours of content for just $29 a month. Wanted to make it super available for everybody.
Dr. Katie Deming [00:35:32]:
Oh, I love that. I love that. Well, thank you so much for being with us.
Peter Crone [00:35:35]:
Thank you.
Dr. Katie Deming [00:35:40]:
Thank you for joining me on Born to Heal. It's been a privilege to share this time with you, and I hope that today's episode has offered you valuable insights on your journey toward optimal health. Please consider subscribing, sharing this podcast with your friends, and leaving us a review. To learn more about how you can work with me, please visit katydemming.com. You can find additional resources in the episode show notes linked below, and remember to join us next week as we continue to explore more holistic approaches to healing. Until then, this is doctor Katie Deming reminding you that just like me, you were born to heal.
DISCLAIMER:
The Born to Heal Podcast is intended for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for seeking professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Individual medical histories are unique; therefore, this episode should not be used to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease without consulting your healthcare provider.