Episode 150 | What Actually Happens When Someone You Love Does a Prolonged Water Fast and How to Best Support Them

[00:00:00] Dr. Katie Deming: If someone you love is exploring a water fast to help them heal and you wanna understand what that actually means, this episode is for you.

[00:00:09] Dr. Katie Deming: Welcome to Born to Heal, the podcast helping people with cancer go beyond Western medicine to heal naturally through the ancient power of prolonged water fasting, so you can ditch the toxic protocols, take control of your health, and let your body do what it's designed to do: heal. I'm your host, Dr.

[00:00:29] Dr. Katie Deming: [00:00:30] Katie Deming.

[00:00:30] Dr. Katie Deming: Today's episode is a little bit different. It's made to be shared and something you can send to the people you love when you want them to understand what fasting actually is and why you're drawn to it.

[00:00:44] Dr. Katie Deming: So if you're here because someone you love is fasting, welcome. I'm so glad you're here. By the end of this episode, you'll discover what actually happens in the body during a supported water fast and why it's nothing like what most of us were [00:01:00] taught. You'll also learn why fasting is one of the oldest healing practices in medicine and what made us walk away from it.

[00:01:08] Dr. Katie Deming: And finally, the single most powerful thing you can do to support someone you love as they heal. Let's dive in. If you're listening to this episode, someone you love is exploring prolonged water fasting as part of their healing, and they wanted you to understand it. The fact that you pressed play says something.

[00:01:29] Dr. Katie Deming: It [00:01:30] says you care enough to wanna know what this actually is. So let me tell you what it is, because I think you'll find it's both more grounded and more beautiful than you might expect. I'm an oncologist, and over my career, I've treated more than 5,000 patients with cancer. I practiced as a board-certified radiation oncologist for 20 years, treating people, sitting with them, walking beside them through the hardest decisions of their life.

[00:01:58] Dr. Katie Deming: Fasting is now [00:02:00] central to the work I do, and I wanna walk you through it the way I'd walk through it with my own family. If you have questions, good. Most people do. The people who ask them end up being the best support because they actually understand what their person is doing and why.

[00:02:18] Dr. Katie Deming: My hope is that by the end of this episode, you'll have a real picture of it, the science, the structure, and what your loved one is actually reaching for. [00:02:30] And my deeper hope is that this becomes an opening, a way for the two of you to talk about it together, what they're hoping for, what you wanna know, and how you can walk through this alongside them Let me give you the simplest way that I know to understand what a prolonged water fast is.

[00:02:48] Dr. Katie Deming: And one of the people I work with recently said it clicked for her when she stopped thinking of it as not eating and started thinking of it as a healing retreat, and I think this is exactly right. [00:03:00] So think about what a retreat actually is. You step out of the noise and the demands of daily life. No work, no errands, no taking care of everyone else.

[00:03:10] Dr. Katie Deming: For this window of time, the only job is to heal. That's what a fast is, a deliberate pause from the constant doing. A retreat is a protected space that's built for rest. People aren't pushing through. They're supported in slowing down. During a [00:03:30] fast, rest isn't nice to have, it's the point. This is why the people I work with aren't going to work, driving, or running the household during their fast.

[00:03:41] Dr. Katie Deming: Their body is meant to be resting, and we build everything around that. And nobody shows up to a real retreat and gets let alone to figure it out, right? There's a guide. There's structure. There are people who know the terrain. This is the same. This is not something your loved one is [00:04:00] improvising by themselves.

[00:04:02] Dr. Katie Deming: It is supported and structured with guidance every step of the way. And here's something worth hearing. People don't go on a retreat because something is wrong with them. They go because they're reaching for something, clarity, a reset, renewal. Your loved one is doing this because they're reaching toward healing, and people come home from a retreat different.

[00:04:28] Dr. Katie Deming: In my practice, the people [00:04:30] who heal share four things, and a supported water fast is one of the most powerful ways I've seen to reach all four. Their nervous system calms. A properly supported water fast tends to bring the whole system out of fight or flight and into a state where healing is possible.

[00:04:50] Dr. Katie Deming: Their body detoxifies on every level, physical, emotional, and mental. And then we're refed deliberately, giving the body the [00:05:00] building blocks for a stronger body and a stronger immune system And because they've stepped away from the noise of their regular life, they come back more in touch with who they actually are, more able to live in alignment with their authentic self.

[00:05:16] Dr. Katie Deming: So when you picture what your loved one is stepping into, picture a structured, supported, intentional retreat, one built around rest, guidance, and coming home to themselves. So [00:05:30] let me show you what this actually involves day to day, because I think it's different from what most people picture. During the fast, life gets cleared out.

[00:05:38] Dr. Katie Deming: No work, no driving, no running the household. We limit screens and social media because the nervous system can't settle while it's being pulled all day. So there's rest and some light movement, and that's it. Everything that normal, everything that normally demands something from them is set down for this [00:06:00] window.

[00:06:00] Dr. Katie Deming: And they're not doing it alone. I'm on a video call with them every single day. Between our calls together and their coaching with me or with one of my coaches, they're spending somewhere between an hour and a half and two hours a day with us, every day through the fast and through refeeding. This is not an app or a protocol they downloaded.

[00:06:22] Dr. Katie Deming: It's daily human contact with people who know exactly what they're going through and exactly what to watch for. And a lot of that time [00:06:30] isn't about food at all. We're working on who they are, their sense of identity, their intuition, and what genuinely authentic life would look like for them. We work with what they're carrying, the emotions, the mindset, both conscious and subconscious, and the role that old trauma may be playing in their illness.

[00:06:52] Dr. Katie Deming: And we work on how they rebuild, how to restore their microbiome and lower inflammation, and how to let [00:07:00] this moment become a real turning point rather than something they simply survive. That work continues through the fast, through refeeding, and in the weeks after You might be wondering how long this actually lasts.

[00:07:14] Dr. Katie Deming: And the fasts I supervise run anywhere from seven to 40 days, and it depends entirely on the person, what they're working towards, what their body needs, and what's appropriate for their situation. Sometimes seven to 10 [00:07:30] days is exactly enough, and sometimes someone goes much longer. I know 40 days sounds like a lot, and most people hear that number and their eyebrows go up.

[00:07:40] Dr. Katie Deming: So it's worth knowing that extended fasting of this length isn't new or unusual in human history. Nearly every major spiritual tradition has some form of it, and the 40-day fast in particular appears again and again in the stories of Moses, of Jesus, of the Buddha, [00:08:00] of John the Baptist. Human beings have been doing this deliberately and for meaning for as long as we have records Now, here's the part almost nobody knows, and it's the most important thing I can tell you.

[00:08:14] Dr. Katie Deming: The fast is only half of it. Refeeding, how a person comes off a fast and returns to eating, is at least important as the fast itself, and it takes about half as long as the fast did. So a 14-day [00:08:30] fast has about seven days of structured refeeding on the other side. Someone who fasts for 30 days is in the program for roughly six weeks.

[00:08:40] Dr. Katie Deming: The fast is never the whole picture, and I take refeeding more seriously than any other part of this process. When someone has been fasting for more than a few days, coming back to food too quickly or in the wrong way carries real risk. It's a genuine medical consideration, [00:09:00] and it's the reason that this is never something to improvise at home.

[00:09:04] Dr. Katie Deming: Done properly, slowly, and in the right sequence, the risk is essentially eliminated, and that's exactly why we're on the phone every day and why the refeeding is built as carefully as it is. I also tell you that I do refeeding differently than many fasting centers. A lot of them refeed on a plant-based diet.

[00:09:24] Dr. Katie Deming: I don't, and I've thought about this carefully. After the body has spent days clearing [00:09:30] out inflammation, I don't believe it makes sense to introduce foods that drive inflammation right back up. So we refeed in a way that's built to rebuild, restoring the gut, giving the body the building blocks it needs, and protecting everything that was gained. And that's what your loved one is actually signing up for. Not two weeks of going without. Structured, supported, closely guided work on their body and everything underneath it.

[00:09:58] Dr. Katie Deming: So let me [00:10:00] clear up the most common misunderstanding about fasting, because it's one most of us grew up with. We were all taught some version of the same rule in school, that a person can only survive a few days without water, a couple of weeks without food, and that that is true. But what that rule describes is starvation, a body with no food, no support, no reserves left, breaking down its own tissue just to survive.

[00:10:28] Dr. Katie Deming: A supported water [00:10:30] fast is a completely different physiological state, and once you understand the difference, the whole picture changes. So here's what actually happens when someone stops eating in a supported fast. The body doesn't run out of fuel. It switches fuel sources. It stops running on sugar from food and starts running on stored fat, converting that fat into a clean fuel called ketones that the brain and the body run on [00:11:00] beautifully.

[00:11:00] Dr. Katie Deming: This is built into us. It's an ancient design. Your loved one's body already knows exactly how to do this. It isn't deprivation. It's a metabolic gear shift the body was built for. And here's the part that I find the most remarkable. You might assume that not eating would leave the body depleted, but some of the most interesting research we have from Dr.

[00:11:25] Dr. Katie Deming: Valter Longo at University of Southern California points the other direction. [00:11:30] During a prolonged fast, the body clears out old and damaged immune cells. Then when a person refeeds, it regenerates fresh new ones from stem cells.

[00:11:43] Dr. Katie Deming: One researcher described it like a plane shedding excess cargo, then rebuilding lighter and stronger. And this was studied in people going through chemotherapy. Fasting helped protect and rebuild the very immune system that chemo tended to [00:12:00] damage. So this isn't a body going without.

[00:12:03] Dr. Katie Deming: It's a body doing a deep cleanout and renewal. Now, I wanna be straightforward with you because you deserve that, and I'm not telling you that fasting is a cure or that it attacks disease directly. The human research is still developing, and anyone who promises you a cure isn't being honest. What I can tell you confidently is the mechanism.

[00:12:24] Dr. Katie Deming: This is a state that supports the body's own repair and renewal. I'm [00:12:30] confident about the why, and I'm honest about what's be- still being studied. And this is exactly why it's done with real support. Prolonged fasting isn't a one-size-fits-all, and it isn't something to improvise alone. A person's specific situation matters enormously.

[00:12:48] Dr. Katie Deming: Their medications, their health history, conditions they're managing, whether they've ever struggled with an eating disorder, whether they're pregnant or underweight. None of those things automatically rule [00:13:00] someone out, but what it means is that the fast gets planned with real intention and built around that specific person.

[00:13:07] Dr. Katie Deming: Sometimes that even means adjusting how the fast is done so someone can safely stay on a medication they need. That care and personalization is the whole point, and it's what separates a supported therapeutic fast from someone attempting this on their own. So there's something else I want you to know because it surprises almost [00:13:30] everyone.

[00:13:31] Dr. Katie Deming: Fasting is one of the oldest medical practices we have. Hippocrates, the physician modern Western medicine traces itself back to, recommended fasting to treat illnesses 2,500 years ago. And Galen, whose teaching shaped medicine for centuries after him, prescribed it. So did the great physicians of the Islamic world and the tradition of Ayurvedic medicine in India.

[00:13:57] Dr. Katie Deming: Paracelsus, considered one of the [00:14:00] fathers of Western medicine, went so far as to call fasting the greatest remedy, the physician within. So for most of human history, resting the body from food was simply something wise physicians did. What's actually new is us walking away from it. It was really only with industrialization, with the modern abundance of food available every hour of every day, that medicine largely set [00:14:30] fasting aside, and even then, it never fully disappeared.

[00:14:34] Dr. Katie Deming: Doctors in Europe ran supervised fasting clinics through the last century, treating chronic conditions in exactly the kind of careful, monitored setting I've been describing to you. So this isn't something new and untested. In a real sense, it's a return to something ancient, something medicine knew and mostly forgot.

[00:14:54] Dr. Katie Deming: By now, you might be wondering why. Like, why would someone you love choose to do [00:15:00] something this demanding? And what are they actually reaching for? When people come to me, they say a lot of things. Some tell me their intuition is pulling them towards fasting and they can't fully explain it. Some say they wanna give their body a chance to heal naturally.

[00:15:15] Dr. Katie Deming: Some come in wanting the tumor gone. They've read about the body clearing out its own damaged cells, and they want that. Some want to calm their nervous system. Some want to heal something emotional, and some are reaching for a spiritual [00:15:30] experience they haven't been able to find anywhere else But when I really listen, there's almost always something underneath all of that, something that drew them in that they may not even be able to name.

[00:15:43] Dr. Katie Deming: They're tired, tired of the protocols, tired of the endless supplements, the constant doing, the being afraid all the time. Underneath all the specific goals, what they're longing for is a different way of being in their body, to stop fighting it [00:16:00] and to reconnect with it. And because so many people with a diagnosis have come to feel like their body betrayed them, like it's become the enemy, and what they're s- reaching for, often without ever saying it out loud, is to trust their body again, to remember that it was designed to heal.

[00:16:20] Dr. Katie Deming: And here's what I see happen. They come in wanting the tumor gone, and what they find is something they weren't expecting. So many [00:16:30] people tell me they arrived thinking the tumor was the whole problem, and they left understanding that the tumor was one part of a much bigger picture, a signal. A signal, something deeper that was also asking to be healed.

[00:16:46] Dr. Katie Deming: And this is the thing that almost no one says out loud, so I wanna say it for them. More than anything, what your loved one is reaching for is peace. Most people facing cancer are driven by fear. [00:17:00] It runs underneath everything, every scan, every decision, every sleepless night. And when peace finally comes in, it changes everything.

[00:17:11] Dr. Katie Deming: It changes the entire experience of being sick and of healing. The people who move through a supported fast so often come out calm, grounded, and even when they don't know yet what their next step is, they trust themselves again. [00:17:30] They feel sure that they'll know the right next thing when it comes. So if you're trying to understand why your person is choosing this, it may look like it's about food or the tumor or a protocol, but what they're really reaching for is peace and a way back to trusting themselves, and that is something worth understanding I wanna leave you with the most important thing that I know about healing, and this part is not about fasting at [00:18:00] all.

[00:18:00] Dr. Katie Deming: In more than 20 years of caring for people with cancer, the single most powerful pattern I've seen is this: people heal best when they're following what feels true to them, when the path is genuinely theirs. Kelly Turner is a researcher who studied over 1,000 cases of people who recovered against the odds, and she found the same thing.

[00:18:25] Dr. Katie Deming: Following your intuition was one of the common threads running through their healing, [00:18:30] and this data is published in the Radical Remission work. And I've watched it in my own patients for two decades. When someone is walking a path that's truly their own, something in them settles and the healing can go deeper This whole idea matters so much to me that I gave a TEDx talk on about how to talk to someone with cancer, because I've learned both as a doctor and as a daughter that how we show up for the people we love may [00:19:00] be one of the most powerful things we can bring to their healing. And I learned this lesson in the most personal way. My mom had ovarian cancer, and I wasn't only her daughter, I had spent my career specializing in a type of cancer that she was experiencing, and I knew this disease intimately. So you can imagine how much I wanted to take over to direct every decision, to be sure everything was done the way I would have done [00:19:30] it.

[00:19:30] Dr. Katie Deming: But I made a different choice. I chose to show up as her daughter and to let her lead her own journey. I showed up whenever she needed me. I asked her how she wanted to be supported instead of assuming I knew best. And I didn't offer my medical opinion unless she wanted it. I asked her first every time.

[00:19:54] Dr. Katie Deming: When there were things I saw differently, I asked whether she wanted my help, and when she wanted to [00:20:00] walk her path her way, I honored that. Even with all my training, I never assumed that I knew what was right for her better than she did. Her path was hers, and it's not always easy. Loving someone through a diagnosis like cancer almost never is.

[00:20:20] Dr. Katie Deming: But I wouldn't trade the way that I got to be present with my mom for anything. So here is what I'm asking of you. Come [00:20:30] alongside your loved one. Ask your questions, the real ones, the ones you're actually wondering about. Tell them what you're hoping for and what you wanna understand. That kind of engagement is a gift.

[00:20:43] Dr. Katie Deming: It's how people feel accompanied rather than managed. And if there are places where you see it differently, you can say that too, honestly and with love. Just say it in a way that honors that this is their body, their life, and their path to [00:21:00] walk. Because the most powerful thing that you can give someone who is healing is not your agreement, and it's not your certainty.

[00:21:08] Dr. Katie Deming: It's your own presence. It's them knowing all the way down that they are not walking this alone. And please know this about me too. When someone trusts me to walk beside them in their healing, I hold that with everything that I have. I care about the person that is in front of me, and I want what is [00:21:30] truly best for them, not what's easiest, not what fits any agenda, but what is right for them.

[00:21:36] Dr. Katie Deming: And that is the heart of how I do this work. So let's bring this home. Here's what I hope you'll carry with you. A supported fast isn't the body going without. It's a structured, guided retreat for the body, a metabolic shift it was designed for and one that clears out and renews. It isn't new. It [00:22:00] isn't fringe.

[00:22:00] Dr. Katie Deming: It's one of the oldest practices in medicine, something the founders of Western medicine relied on and something we've only recently set aside. And finally, the person you love isn't reaching for a protocol. They're reaching for peace and for the chance to trust their own body again.

[00:22:19] Dr. Katie Deming: Walk with them. Ask them questions. Let them know they're not doing this alone. That may be the most powerful thing you bring to their healing. Thank [00:22:30] you so much for listening. I know your time and attention are valuable, and I'm very grateful you chose to spend time with me today.

[00:22:37] Dr. Katie Deming: I release episodes every Tuesday, and I look forward to connecting with you on the next episode. Before you go, whether you're on your own healing journey or you're here because you love someone who is, I'd love for you to join my free class, The Healing Power of Fasting. I'll walk you through how a prolonged water fast actually works and how I support people through it. So [00:23:00] whether you're considering this for yourself or trying to understand it for someone you love, you'll have a clearer picture of what this path really looks like. The link is in the show notes.

[00:23:10] Dr. Katie Deming: Thank you for listening, and remember, just like me, you are born to heal.