Episode 141 | 10-Day Fast Broke Her OPEN (The Truth Finally Came Out)

Dr. Katie Deming: [00:00:00] Lauren started a 10-day fast to reset her burnout. What surfaced changed the entire course of her life. ~Okay, that was the hook. So the episode intro, um, is this.~

Welcome to Born to Heal, the podcast helping people with cancer go beyond Western medicine to heal naturally through the ancient power of prolonged water fasting, so you can ditch the toxic protocols, take control of your health, and let your body do what it's designed to do: heal. I'm your host, Dr.

Katie Deming. Let's dive in.~ ~~Welcome to Born To Heal the podcast, helping people with cancer go beyond the western medicine to heal naturally through the ancient power of prolonged water fasting so you can ditch the toxic protocols.~

~Take control of your health and let your body do what it's designed to do, heal. I'm your host, Dr. Katie Deming. ~

Dr. Katie Deming: Today I'm joined by my client, Lauren Manesco. Lauren came to her 10-day fast on the brink of a nervous breakdown, burned out from a high-pressure career, sensing that everything she had built was falling apart, and knowing something deeper was misaligned, but unable to name what it was.

By the end of this episode, you're gonna know what actually happens emotionally during a prolonged fast, and why the breakthroughs often come during refeeding [00:01:00] and not during the fast itself. You'll also learn why getting bored, getting quiet, and sitting with discomfort is exactly where the clarity lives.

And finally, how surrendering during a fast can give you the ~f- ~courage to finally live your truth, even when truth changes everything. Let's dive in. ~Okay, now this is the episode outro. Wow, that was a powerful interview and such a beautiful demonstration of radical authenticity by Lauren. To summarize what we cover here, here's a quick recap.~

~A prolonged water fast isn't just a typical… Let me start that over again. Wow, what a powerful interview by Lauren, and, uh, I'm gonna start over again.~

So Lauren, I am excited to talk to you about your 10-day fast. And I'm wondering, for listeners who are meeting you for the first time, can you tell us a little bit about who you are and what was happening in your life that brought you to consider a fast?

Lauren Monusco: Yeah. Well, thank you Dr. Katie, for having me on the podcast. I'm excited to see you and talk to you. ~Um, ~so my name's Lauren, and,~ um,~ I would say probably my fasting journey started about two years ago when I started intermittent fasting for myself, and had some troubles in the very beginning where some days I felt really good, [00:02:00] other days I felt horrible, and I just couldn't quite figure out what it was.

And I would go to physicians, my primary care physician, my OBGYN, and I would tell them, you know, what I was experiencing. And at the time, they just kinda brushed it off and said: “Well, don't fast. Just don't do it. ~Um, ~it's not for you.” And I just didn't ever feel was satisfying to me. I just felt like, ah, there's gotta be a reason why it's okay sometimes and,~ um,~ really amazing other times.

So I ended up finding a method that really worked for me and,~ ~ started doing more fasting myself, intermittent fasting, did longer fasts, did three-day fasts on my own. I would say probably about, I think it was about a couple months after I started doing my own fasting,~ um,~ my family and I, we were living in North Carolina, and we decided,~ um,~ the big house and all the great things and the c- the high pressure careers just weren't for us and serving us anymore.

So we decided to sell our house. ~Um, ~it was supposed to be our forever home, we sold [00:03:00] 95% of our stuff, and we went on the road. So we bought a fifth-wheel camper, a big truck, and started traveling around the country with our two little kids, ~six and four. ~ six and four right now. And really, um, loved the traveling, loved seeing new places, exploring, meeting new people, seeing all different types of culture and just how beautiful our own country is.

And,~ um,~ at the time when we left, my partner Matt, he left his job. ~Um, ~he had a really good job in a global company, he was going to take on the full-time responsibilities of the children and homeschooling and the planning and the traveling, and I kept my position at my job. And throughout the time of leaving and being on the road, I got promoted,~ um,~ at my company.

I had a lot more responsibilities, I just started to feel really burnt out. ~Um, ~that's how it happened initially. I just felt really burnt out and not very knowledgeable in the, like, astrology field, but I've read [00:04:00] a lot, and especially doing the fast. ~Um, ~2025 was the Year of the Snake, and I– that resonated with me so much.

~Um, ~I just felt like everything I had built to that point in my life was just kind of falling apart.

Dr. Katie Deming: Mm-hmm.

Lauren Monusco: it was really, ~um, was really~ just this, like, misalignment of like, “What am I doing in my life?” ~Um, ~I'm on this amazing adventure with my family. I have a really good job, but I just wasn't happy, and I didn't know exactly what the issue was.

I didn't know what the root cause was, and I'm big into root cause, like get down deep, you know. I don't wanna be at surface level. Like something wasn't right. And,~ um, months, you know, ~months and months of this have gone on to the point where I was so stressed out at my job that I was really on the brink of a nervous breakdown.

That's like, I think when you and I had talked previously, it felt like I had postpartum depression all over again with my second kid, and I just knew I wasn't okay. ~Um, ~so I had made the decision to resign. I didn't have any backup. I was the sole provider for our family. were on [00:05:00] the road,~ um,~ you know, which could feel a little unstable, like not having a home,~ ~a permanent home.

So it was really, really But ultimately, it was like I was choosing… I just knew something bad was gonna happen to me if I didn't make a change. ~Um, ~and in parallel with all of this, I had known about you. I'd seen your program. I knew you were revamping things, and then when I saw the water fasting program come up, it just aligned so much with my personal beliefs about fasting and my previous experience, but really wanted to explore what a prolonged, like an intentional prolonged fast would do for me.

And,~ um,~ at that time, the minimum you could fast was the 10 days. So that was what I had signed up to do, and this was all kind of happening at the same time of from my job, my full-time job, this career that I spent, you know, all my life like working towards, going to school, going to college, and getting to the point where I wanted to get and,~ um,~ just knowing it just didn't feel [00:06:00] right anymore.

~Um, ~so, so yeah, getting to, to the, the point where I signed up for the 10-day fast,~ um,~ at that point.

Dr. Katie Deming: And really you were looking for, you were like, “Okay, I'm not aligned in this job. I've gotta let this go. This is scary.” You had the experience with fasting and intention. What were you hoping to get from the fast? What were you thinking at that point?

Lauren Monusco: Yeah, I th– at the time I thought, “Okay, I'll get the physical benefits of a prolonged fast.” I, I was not feeling well, and I know now that that was the chronic stress I was under, but I wasn't sleeping well, I was gaining weight, I was l-losing my hair. I just really wasn't doing okay. So the physical benefits and being in a larger group of people, I felt that was really something I hadn't done before, and I wanted to be with other people and learn from their experiences.

~Um, ~but I also knew that there was this emotional healing that I needed and a spiritual re-connection,~ um,~ because I hadn't had that. So it was really those three things [00:07:00] into the fast that I was looking for.

Dr. Katie Deming: Beautiful. And what were you afraid of? Like, what were your fears? And actually, I'm kind of curious about what were the issues that you had with fasting before? You know, 'cause this is a thing that a lot of people say. They're like, “Oh, but I could never do a long fast because I have these problems when I even try and fast 24 hours or 48 hours.”

So I'm, I'm wondering if you can tell us that. Like, what were the problems that you had with fasting before, and then what were your fears or concerns going into this that you were thinking about?

Lauren Monusco: ~Fasting before– ~ the best way I can describe it from what I remember was it was always the week before my cycle that I felt like fasting wasn't working for me. I felt, I almost felt like at times I was gonna have a heart attack. I was so anxious and so shaky, but I was– I didn't know that, you know, I like maybe I shouldn't be doing that at that time in my cycle, and I would just push through, just kind of like what I've done my whole life is just push through and it, it never, it didn't work.

So for me, [00:08:00] that,~ um,~ that hurt. And I'll say too, I never really put my life on pause. I kept doing all the things. I kept working. I a baby, like I had a one-year-old, and then I was,~ um,~ I was pregnant within a couple months. So I just had a lot going on, and we, and we had the big house. And I, I know now from this experience that,~ um,~ fasting and pushing through and not letting your body rest,~ uh,~ wasn't serving me either.

So I think those were the two big things I struggled with the most before. And then my fears going into the fast,~ um,~ I really, say from a surface level, I didn't have any in that I, I trusted you and this program, and that you're so knowledgeable and so careful, and I knew I was safe, and I knew I was going to be protected in an, in like a loving space.

~Um, ~I think I was more nervous of what was going to come up for me on the emotional side. I knew deep down there were things I was suppressing, [00:09:00] and I was nervous that they were gonna come up, and they did. ~Um, ~but I didn't know how. And I was most nervous about that because, because at the time I just didn't know what would happen when they came up.

You know, I didn't know what it would mean and if I would be able to ignore them again if it would completely change my life.

Dr. Katie Deming: Well, and this is something that actually people who've done a little bit of fasting have enough awareness to, to know, oh gosh, there's some stuff that probably will come up if there's, you know, surfacing during a fast. And so this is common, actually, people will say that to me. So let me ask you this, because a lot of people think like, “Oh, I'm gonna fast, and then it's just gonna come up and it's gonna overwhelm me.”

And can you walk us through, like from an emotional standpoint of it sounds like some things did surface for you, and I know, I know that they did just from walking through the fast with you. But I'd love to hear you just kind of [00:10:00] talk through like, was it overwhelming? Did you have the support? How did that happen?

Like, how did emotions come up? Was it all of a sudden or was it a certain point in the fast? I'm kind of curious for you if you can talk us through that.

Lauren Monusco: It, it was not overwhelming. I would say for me, really the emotional part didn't s-start to surface until probably the end of the detox period, so that was day seven, even day eight. ~Um, ~and think what happened for me, a-again, you're, you're in an environment where you're safe and you're supported and you're talking with everybody every day, and we're sharing and we're being vulnerable, which was really great, so you feel supported from that aspect.

And then, you know, you have the support of your family who's doing everything while you're taking this time for yourself to rest. So I really felt supported and not overwhelmed. I would say in the beginning I was quite bored. I you know, I wanted to~ s– I ~stayed off social media and didn't [00:11:00] really watch any shows.

~Um, ~and I s– just read and listened to podcasts and did meditation. So in the beginning I felt more of like I was just kind of waiting, I guess. I was like, “Okay, when's, when's this gonna come up? When's this gonna surface?” And I'd start to have things show themselves in dreams. Like, I had a lot of vivid dreams,~ um,~ the fast.

But I wouldn't say until it was eight, and I remember specifically it was,~ um,~ you know, 'cause you'll– We have wonderful coaches that show up every day who have different specialties, and it was Will's day, and,~ um,~ he's the emotional healer,~ um,~ mentor in the group. ~And he I think for me it's when you–~ I think the signs are always there, and the emotions are always there, and they're in there obviously.

But when you get quiet and you're very clear, you can see them much better. And I just, on day eight, I just started to see very clearly what, was going on. And he, in his session that day, he had talked about, he said “surrender” a lot, and that, whatever [00:12:00] that, that really resonated with me, that word surrender.

when that happened, it was like everything opened up, but it wasn't overwhelming. It was kind of like a domino effect. Like one thing happened that led to another, that led to another, that ultimately, like, let me get to this space of like pure lightness and joy and just feeling like, “Oh my gosh, I figured it out,” like why, why I came here.

So for me, it wasn't overwhelming. It just came later than I thought. I think in the beginning of the fast, I was kind of waiting, thinking, “When is this gonna come up?” And,~ um,~ it didn't happen till much later. And I'll say like video journals, I did written journals, so I have a pretty good,~ um,~ memory of when a lot of these different things happened, ~ um,~ personally for me.

And it was– Looking back, it was really day three and day four of my refeeding. So I did the 10-day fast, and then when it, it was actually when I started eating again that these [00:13:00] emotions and these,~ um,~ this sense of clarity really came up for me, and I was a little surprised by that, but not, not overwhelmed by any

Dr. Katie Deming: Yeah. No, and what you describe is it's so typical, and a lot of people don't understand that the refeeding is actually oftentimes where the real clarity comes. When you start to bring the nutrition back in and you're starting to feel like you have energy again, you start to see even more. But, you know, this is…

And I'm just gonna talk through this for the audience that, you know, when you start a fast, the first three days can be challenging getting into ketosis. You know, you were an experienced faster and… But I remember the first couple days were, were kind of rough. You had nausea. Was that what it… I think it

was

Lauren Monusco: I had the

Dr. Katie Deming: headache and nausea.

Lauren Monusco: day two and day three, yeah. And this horrible,~ um,~ acid reflux. My–

Dr. Katie Deming: Yeah.

Lauren Monusco: I remember like we would mark like out of 10 how we were doing. I put dragon out of 10. It was like this fire that was coming up. It was so [00:14:00] awful. But it was just day two and three, and

Dr. Katie Deming: Yeah.

Lauren Monusco: we were both really surprised

Dr. Katie Deming: Yeah, 'cause you're an experienced faster, so I was thinking the first three days would be easy. But every– even with a three-day fast, it's different for every person every time. Like, sometimes I have three-day fasts that are hard. But, you know, so the first three days are getting into ketosis, which can be challenging, and then days four to seven are detoxification, which can cause pain, you can have some nausea, you can have trouble sleeping, so that can be challenging. But what you're describing is so interesting. So many people are like, “Why? I just feel bored.” Like w- nothing's happening. Like they're expecting some like mountaintop experience. And one of the things about spiritual experiences, you know, that kind of mountaintop, those awarenesses, they come from pain. So actually, you have to go through the pain of the first week of like, you know, doing all of that detoxification, and when you can ride through that and you're supported in the right way, you can kind of [00:15:00] pop up on day eight, and then you're ready to see things.

But it comes from being bored. It comes from the discomfort. It comes from being with the discomfort and not pushing it away, right? ‘Cause we often eat to push away,~ um,~ you know, discomfort. We overdo, we engage with other people, we use drugs, w- whatever it is, right? And when you're fasting, you can't do that.

So part of the point is to really get bored and be just with yourself and have to be with those emotions. And if you do that, what's interesting is the nervous system, when you first start fasting, like you were describing how you would feel kinda anxious, you know, in those early years when you were fasting, is the first couple days actually your cortisol and adrenaline goes up as your body is shifting from using glucose as a fuel to ketones.

But once you finally get into ketosis, what happens is the nervous system really calms down. And that's what I think people are really surprised by, is [00:16:00] they're like, “You know, I've had anxiety my whole life,” and like all of a sudden, like day eight, it's like, “Wow, I'm not anxious. That wasn't like me. That was either something that I had taken on or something that I was experiencing based on what I was, you know, the way that I was living, but that's not my essence.

My essence is actually very calm and loving,” like you're describing. And in that space, when the nervous system has calmed down and you've started to really clean out someone's body, you just start to see things. Like that's what you're describing. And that's really what I, I can say that I witness in people, is that they start to just see their patterns.

Like all of a sudden you're not so in the story yourself. It's almost like you can triangulate and you can see yourself from, you know, a separate vantage point and start to have like real clarity on like, “Oh, wow, I've been running that same pattern my whole life.” And all of a sudden I just see it. [00:17:00] And once you see it, you can't unsee it. Does that feel true for you?

Lauren Monusco: 100%. I just got done telling somebody that is like once you s- I, I think with my journey and the emotional things that came up for me, it was things I knew. It's things that have always been there, but I've done such a good job of putting up a wall, putting up a guard, and not letting some– anybody see that part of me.

And I'd done that my whole life until when I got to that point in the fast, you're right, like I just couldn't. When I saw it, it was so clear, and I knew I couldn't go back to the old way. Like, there was no way I was going to be able to forward and keep denying who I was. ~Um, ~and yeah, I– totally resonates with me and what I experienced.~ ~

Dr. Katie Deming: ~Yeah, hang ~

~on one sec. I'm gonna grab a quote here. I don't know where… Marvin, you can just cut this when, um… Okay, Marvin, you can go ahead and start it again. So, you know, ~what's so interesting is actually just today I had a call with my community of faster, people who fasted with me already, and then we do call,~ uh,~ they do a call once a month with me. And the [00:18:00] quote that we discussed actually today is interesting 'cause I'm not like a Bible scholar, nor do I consider myself Christian, but I definitely study,~ um,~ ancient texts, including, you know, those from the Bible, like there's,~ um,~ some texts that were discovered in the 1940s,~ uh,~ the Nag Hammadi,~ um,~ library.

And in there is the Gospel of Thomas, and one of the st- sayings in there, and this is Jesus would say, these are the teachings that Jesus gave to his disciples as opposed to what's in the New Testament are things that he would just say to, you know, crowds, that kind of thing. But so a lot of these sayings are very deep, and there's one that today I brought up with my community and, and because I really think this is what happens in the fast.

But the saying is this: “If you bring forth what is within you, what you bring forth will save you. If you ~n-~ do not bring forth what is within you, what you do not bring forth will destroy you.” [00:19:00] So that to me, th- this is what the fast does. The fast allows people to see what is within And then you also start to click like, “Oh, wow, if I don't bring this forth, it is going to suffocate me.

It is going to,” you know, in, in this, you know, saying it says, “Destroy me,” but,~ uh,~ really, like, you can't hold it in. Is that true? Like, did you feel that sense of like, “Okay, even though I've had this pattern, I've known it for my whole life, I've kind of put a wall around it, I no longer can hold this in”?

Lauren Monusco: ~Yes. And I–~ when you said that, I got emotional. Like, I feel heart racing, like s- so true. It's so true that that really happened,~ um,~ because I, I went into this feeling like so depleted and so misaligned, and I kept saying like, “I don't know what I'm supposed to do.” ~ ~ that's what I said in the beginning, but then once I went through this process and I got so much clarity and I learned and I actually saw [00:20:00] and on the emotional trauma around this part of me,~ um,~ it was more of like, I just have to be who I am.

Like,

Dr. Katie Deming: Hmm.~ ~

Lauren Monusco: I was so– I was just living out of fear,~ um,~ for a very long time of who I am isn't safe and who I am won't be loved by the people that I love. ~ ~ so that was so true for me,~ um,~ and really hard. So thank you for sharing that. That really touched me,~ ~

Dr. Katie Deming: Yeah. Yeah.

No, and, you know, this is the other thing is that,~ um,~ the, the real tender stuff inside you can access in a way after a fast like that, that, that maybe you can't access before, 'cause maybe it's, you know, you've got that wall,~ um,~ around it. I'm wondering for you, Lauren, as you came to the realization of like, “Oh, this is what was, you know, everything was about,” or, “This is what I was holding back,” [00:21:00] w- did you take steps in your life to bring that forth?

And, and what was that like? Because obviously, you know, you had held things tight for a long time. ~What was… W- ~what, what came from your experience in doing the fast afterwards?~ ~

Lauren Monusco: ~Yeah. Um, well, the part of ~

Dr. Katie Deming: ~Oh, ~

Lauren Monusco: ~steps,~

Dr. Katie Deming: ~can't hear you. I don't know why the…~

Lauren Monusco: ~Okay, hold on. Can you hear me now?~

Dr. Katie Deming: ~All of a sudden I can't hear you.~

Lauren Monusco: ~Um, let's see. It says my microphone's connected.~

Dr. Katie Deming: ~Wait, let me see here. Okay, say it again.~

Lauren Monusco: ~Can you hear me~

Dr. Katie Deming: ~Okay, now I can. Yeah, okay, so go ahead and just start that over again.~

Lauren Monusco: So I, I started taking steps when I was in the refeeding, so I, I,~ um,~ I was just so sure of What I was receiving, and I'll also share too some of the signs I saw during the process that made me feel very safe to share. But I started making steps almost immediately as things came up.

~Um, ~one of the things that came up…

Um, sorry, it's hard.

Dr. Katie Deming: It's, okay. No, yeah.

Lauren Monusco: um, but, needed, um, was s- kind of like what you talked about before. You mentioned,~ um,~ almost feeling like you can watch yourself from afar, like you know what's going on, but you're so clear you can see a lot more. There was an instance, ~ um,~ within the refeeding that my partner and I, we had gotten in [00:22:00] this big fight, and it was just over something not important, but a, a common theme that we've had for a long time in our marriage.

I remember ~I just– we were f-~ we were arguing, and I just… It wasn't even like me that it came fr- It didn't feel like me consciously. It just blurted out, “We should separate.” Like: “I don't think this works anymore. We can't, I can't do this anymore.” ~Um, ~and there was a lot of things that happened after that, but I'll share that it was really scary to say that.

It was really scary to think, “I'm about to end a marriage.” I've been married for over 10 years. We have little kids. We're on the road right now. But I knew I had the clarity that this just wasn't serving me anymore, and this wasn't the path I was supposed to be on. I remember it was so beautiful, and I just, it– I was so emotional at the time, and it…

But it was a good emotional that I actually was sitting here in my bedroom, and,~ uh,~ my window was open. And after we had had this conversation and then we s- you know, we had time away from each [00:23:00] other, just saw this beautiful rainbow right outside the window. It had just– It was raining all day, and I, it just stopped, and I saw this beautiful rainbow.

And I noticed these crows flying around that I hadn't noticed before. It was– We had been there for a good week or so, and I never noticed crows in this area of, in Arizona, in the desert. ~Um, ~and they were just flying around right in front of the window that I could see them. And I, you know, I can't really explain what that, that, you know, those are symbols.

But I think the feeling I got was that it's okay, you're safe, and you, you're doing the thing that you know is right thing. So that gave me a lot of courage,~ um,~ and strength to, to move forward with that. So that was, that came up. ~Um, and then is it okay if I go more and ~

Dr. Katie Deming: ~Yeah, absolutely.~ Well, and I

just wanna, you know, ~um, ~acknowledge that that's a huge, huge thing that came up there,

Lauren Monusco: Yeah.

Dr. Katie Deming: And That this is the kind of thing that happens [00:24:00] unfortunately when people fast is like fortunately or fortu- unfortunately, it's like really big things will come up for people. And, and sometimes it's not even that, that things are gonna end.

I'm not saying that with you, but sometimes it's the conversation that needed to happen. Like we've been skirting this for so long that you, you can't address it until you really take it head on. So, ~um, ~beautifully done f- on your part of just honoring the truth, you know?

Lauren Monusco: Yeah. Yeah. Right. And, and like y- perfectly stated, I didn't know what it meant at the time. At the time, I just thought, “We just keep having these same fights, and I'm not happy and I'm not aligned. It must be this. It must be our marriage.” And we had a, we had a great marriage, or we have a great marriage, and we're great friends.

And,~ um,~ so it was a… not, I, I should say I, I n- I anticipated that this would come up in the fast. I just didn't know what was gonna, how it was gonna play out.

Dr. Katie Deming: Mm-hmm.~ ~

Lauren Monusco: so that all [00:25:00] happened, and then naturally my partner, you know, wanting to work things out,~ um,~ do the counseling, do anything possible to really make work, and I just kept saying, “I, I'm sorry, I just, I can't do it.

I, I, it's not gonna work. I'm sorry. Like, I don't wanna waste our time in counseling. I just know it's not, not right anymore.” ~ um,~ he just really didn't understand at the time. And at the same time, I'm going through unpacking all of this emotional trauma I've had. And,~ ~I ended up working with Will one-on-one for the emotional healing, we had a session, I don't know if it was the same day or if it was the day after, but we went through multiple things,~ um,~ where some of the things I, I had memories of, and I was able to release those from my body.

And then there were things that I don't even… There was no image associated with it. It was just this like, ugh, how do I even describe it? My body almost convulsing. There was [00:26:00] so much pain suffering that I had in there, and I don't even know what it was associated with, but I, afterwards, I didn't even really bother to know.

It just felt so light and so relieving. And one really powerful thing was not only did we release that trauma and I had the clarity and I,~ um,~ you know, the, support of the group,~ um,~ and, and still not, I don't think I had broke, I don't, I may have broken my fast by that point. ~Um, ~but we did a lot of reprogramming.

It was very clear to me that I didn't feel safe being who I was because programmed from a very young age,~ um,~ to be a certain way, to, to show up a certain way in my life. And I feel like I talk about this misalignment, that's so true for me. I just have gone down this path of what my parents wanted me to do or what my friends were doing or what a partner was doing or wanted to do, and I just really wasn't living authentically.[00:27:00]

And the sign– Again, this is not something I didn't know. Like, I had known about this for a very long time,~ um,~ and I had pushed it down for so long. But when I was able to release trauma and reprogram myself that deserve love unconditionally,~ um,~ it, it made it really safe to be who I am. And what came up,~ um,~ I wasn't even really ready to share it.

~Um, ~but my hus- my, my husband and I, we were having this conversation again, and it, it was one of those late-night conversations. The kids were in bed, and he kept saying, “I just don't understand, like, why, why can't we work this out? Why are you not willing to fight for us?” And,~ um,~ a lot of hesitation and fear and all the things, I finally was able to release and and tell him,~ um,~ that I'm– I just haven't been living my truth,~ um,~ and that I'm [00:28:00] actually gay. And it was really, really hard,~ um,~ to admit that out loud. was really hard to admit that to myself because I'd lived my whole life pushing that down and it not being okay, not being safe to be that way. ~Um, ~and when I was able to be quiet and release all these things and really accept myself and know that that's how I had to show up in the world, I was able to release that, and it was really hard, but I was actually taken aback how supportive and loving he was to me when I was able to share,~ um,~ who I am.

And it's, still a j- it's still a journey. Um, you know, you don't have everything worked out, but there's a l- there's a lot of steps, and you just have to take one step at a time, and that's what we've, we've been doing. We've been navigating what a new relationship looks like,~ um,~ how to co-parent together with our kids, how to still be a connected [00:29:00] family.

And I'll tell you, I– we actually have a better relationship now that I was able to come to terms with that, and it, it actually made a lot of sense,~ um,~ for a lot of the problems we were having in our marriage. ~And I just… You know,~ it's still, it's still scary. It's still hard. I mean, I was– It's, it's a lot of reprogramming to unprogram.

I was raised in a very small town. There were no gay people in my town. ~Um, ~I was raised Catholic, where, you know, if you go against anything, you're going to hell. So it just really was this, I learned it wasn't safe. ~Um, ~ but then it got to a point where I just couldn't hold it in anymore. It was that thing, like I can't unsee this, and it was really scary to, to finally come to terms with it.

It, it actually was easier to just keep pretending. I mean, it, it, it got to a point where it didn't feel easier anymore 'cause my life started, it… I started to see, you know, I was getting the signs that I wasn't doing okay. for a long [00:30:00] time, it was just easier to just be what everybody else wanted me to be.

~ ~ it was harder to be truthful and to be authentic, but once I released all these things, it felt like I just don't know how to even really do it justice in words. I felt so much love and joy and lightness that I have not experienced for a very, very long time. yeah, it was just, it was a lot. So it– and I say, you know, I, I said in the beginning I wasn't overwhelmed.

It was, it was really just this knowing, this deep knowing, and then,~ um,~ removing fear, like moving forward anyway. You know, even though I was so scared and I didn't know, you know, what was gonna happen, I just knew I had, I just had to. I, I couldn't keep that to myself anymore. ~Um, ~and I really think through the fast and getting quiet and also reprogramming and doing the emotional work, it, it really helped me get to this [00:31:00] point where I could be who I am and love who I am and know that I'm worthy and deserve love.

And,~ um,~ I just, yeah, I don't, I don't regret of that. ~Um, ~but it wa- it is a journey. It's still a journey. And it's, it's, it's been a lot,

but

Dr. Katie Deming: Yeah.

Lauren Monusco: And I don't think I ever could have got to this point without going through this. I, I really d- I think I could have lived my whole life this way and just kept hiding this part of myself and like getting used to being unhappy and un- and misaligned.

~ ~ and I, you know, something that resonated with me that you've said before is when you worked in, in hospice care about, you know, like the number one thing people say is like, “I wish I just would've showed up who I was.”

Dr. Katie Deming: Mm-hmm.

Lauren Monusco: And that's never left me. It's like, I wanna, I wanna show up who I am, [00:32:00] and I definitely have, and I've felt so, so much better I have.

Dr. Katie Deming: So beautiful. And that you are so loved exactly as you are. And also I love that your partner was so understanding and supportive. And if you have… I mean, that quote, that saying, “If you bring forth what is within you, what you bring forth will save you. If you do not bring forth what is within you, what you do not bring forth will destroy you.” And you're describing what that's like, that that was destroying you from the inside and, but it didn't fit with the way that you were supposed to live and, you know, who you were supposed to be according to what the expectations were, and so you were pushing that down. And then what's beautiful Thank you for s- thank you.

You– Just audience, I didn't know the second [00:33:00] part of this, so this is all new that you're sharing this, Lauren, on this interview is, like, very, very privileged. So I just wanna say thank you for being so vulnerable and so authentic and awesome. Like, this is what this is about, is about being authentic even when it's uncomfortable, even when it's, like, scary to do so.

So I just commend you for being so brave and so open. But when you bring the truth forward, everything else makes sense, right? Like, that's what you're describing, the lightness, because it was you were trying to make everything work ignoring this huge component of yourself. And as long as you did that, nothing was going to make sense because you're trying to fit it around something that's not authentically you.

So well done for just embracing that, you know? And, and, and not only seeing it, but then being willing to make those hard steps of, [00:34:00] “Okay, how can I be honest with my partner knowing that this is going to change our relationship? How can I be honest with myself knowing that this is gonna be not all of a sudden all better,” right?

There's, like, so much that needs to be renegotiated, but this is the way that you live your life, th- that you live your light, and that you feel peace. You know what? That,~ uh,~ Don ~Xavier~ always says, “”Today is a good day to die,” because he lives his truth, and he lives every day as if it was his last. And you doing that is an example of living as if it's your last day because you don't want to get to the end and say, “Gosh, I really wasn't truthful with who I was.”

Lauren Monusco: ~Right. Yeah. ~you know, it's given me a lot of courage to hear other people's stories too. I have to say that. And, you know, I kinda went back and forth I was going to share this today because it's still very new and personal to me, and [00:35:00] it's still very scary. ~Um, ~but ultimately, I learned throughout this process is I'm doing a disservice to other people by not being honest and not being truthful and sharing because if it helps one person, then there you go. It helped one person, and that's, that's all that matters is just being authentic and, and and showing up and in love. that's what all of this means for me. It's still hard. I still get emotional, but, ~ um,~ it's, it's so true. And when you can come to terms with you are, you're right. You just– every day is a gift, and I wake up and I'm so grateful now.

I used to– I remember in the be– like before I did the fast, I had such trouble with gratitude and being vulnerable and sharing with other people. And,~ um,~ I just don't ha- I, I'm, I mean, it's– I'm not perfect, but it's really opened up for me, and I just wake up most days now and I'm like, “I just get to live this awesome [00:36:00] life, and it should– it's gonna be a great day. And love you.” Like, I say that to myself, and I say good things. And it's, just amazing how much has transformed for me. And, you know, I'll share, like before this, I went back and I watched my video journals 'cause I did– I ski- I missed a couple days, but most days during the fast and refeeding, I did a journal, which was very helpful to kind of remember and look back.

And the old me would watch of myself or see pictures of myself or my voice and just disgusted. Like I– it sounds terrible to say, but I was just like, “Mm, I don't– you don't look good,” or, “You sound bad,” or,

“You look horrible.” Like, I'd always judge myself from that lens. And when I was watching back my videos this time, thinking like, “Wow, that was really smart what you said.”

Or I would say, “Wow, that was really beautiful. Like, good job.” I just was like cheering myself on, and [00:37:00] that's just so authentic. Like I– you can't, you can't I know. You can't learn that from a manual or something like, or read a book. Like, it's just going through this process, I just– Again, I don't think I would've gotten to this point, but I can see with how I'm showing up and just the little things and the gratitude and just paying attention and being curious, I've just changed so much and transformed And I just want to share that with other people because I was the– I was not in a good place before, and I would've loved to hear something like this. So that's– It's important to me, even though it's scary share and just be honest

Dr. Katie Deming: ~Well, ~

~and~

what you're describing there is that you have experienced your true essence, which your true essence is peace and love and beauty, you know? And, and once you see that, it's kinda like you don't know what it's like to drink tequila and get drunk until you've drank [00:38:00] te- tequila and gotten drunk once, and then you're like, “Okay, I know what that feels like,” right?

People, most of us have not experienced what our authentic self feels like, and in a prolonged fast, like… And that's why I always want people to go to 10 days.~ I'm like, you– I've, I've had some,~ now I have a group right now who just did seven days, and they, they got there, like they, they got close. But I'm always like, “If you can just go 10 days, I promise there's like that eight to 10 days, like, is really valuable extending that.”

But when you get into that space, you come into contact with your divine nature, which is beautiful and loving and peaceful. And once you've felt that, then if you intentionally bring that forward, that's coming with you, right? So now it makes sense why you can do gratitude and why you watch a video of yourself and you're like, “Oh my gosh, she, she's beautiful. Look

~Look at the th-“~ You know, like you see yourself like a child. That's the way that m- most people [00:39:00] who come out of the fast and have that experience are like, “Oh my goodness, I can't believe that I was so hard on you for so long, and this beautiful body that's done so much work.” And it's almost like you wanna cry for all of the times that you've been so hard on yourself, you know, because you have such an appreciation for who you are now.

Is that, would you say that's fair for you as well?

Lauren Monusco: ~Yeah.~ So true. And it, you know, with me too, being a mom of young kids, it's like twofold for me because I'm seeing it, you know, like my daughter who I feel like looks like me and acts like me, and I, I have so much more grace

Dr. Katie Deming: Yeah.

Lauren Monusco: too.”

And know, that it's, it's really special. ~Um, ~but you're– Yeah. It's, it's one of those things that you don't know until you know, you know, until you experience it and I, I have really f- I have really felt that way and just really appreciate, [00:40:00] again, going through the fast and appreciating food more. I mean, all the things and just, again, waking up and, and getting to live another day.

And I think that's a great thing too, to live like it's your last day. Like, make it the best you can, 'cause we, we don't know. We're not guaranteed. Make it the best you can. Have fun, share, be And I, I think when you can think of things like that, it's hard not to think about that inner child, that inner person that, that at a very,~ very high, uh, uh, really surface,~ high level, like, they just wanna be loved and heard.

And, you know, we go through life and you're, you're programmed and you just don't hear it or you don't wanna see it,~ um,~ it'll catch up to you.

Dr. Katie Deming: Beautiful. Well, Lauren, thank you so much for coming on here and being an example of what it means to live your truth, because this is what I've, I believe this life is all about, is [00:41:00] accepting who you are authentically and living that version in the world. So congratulations to you on doing just that today.

So thank you so much from the bottom of my heart for being you and showing up authentically and fearlessly.

Lauren Monusco: Thank you, Dr. Katie. It was wonderful to be here. Thank you.

Dr. Katie Deming: ~You're ~ Wow, what a powerful episode and beautiful demonstration of radical authenticity by Lauren. I literally did not know all of that. I only knew the first part about her asking for separation, but the rest has unfolded since the fast, and what a beautiful,~ um,~ truth that she has been willing to share with us.

I'm very honored to have her share that,~ uh,~ on the podcast. To summarize what we covered today, here's a quick recap. A prolonged fast isn't just a physical detox. It's an emotional and spiritual reset that helps you come to contact with your true essence, which is [00:42:00] peaceful, loving, and authentic. We also learned that the breakthroughs don't always come on a mountaintop.

They come through the boredom, through discomfort, the surrender, and often during refeeding or after the fast itself. And we also learned that when you bring forth what is within you, it saves you When you don't, it destroys you. Lauren's courage to finally live her truth is what healing actually looks like.

~Thank you so much for listening. I know your time and attention are valuable, and I'm very grateful that you chose to spend this time with me today. I release new episodes every Tuesday and Thursday mornings, and I look forward to connecting you, uh…~

~I'm gonna leave out that, actually. So thank you so much f- let me just go back to, like, that's what healing actually looks like. Thank you so much for listening. I know your time and attention are valuable, and I'm very grateful you chose to spend time with me today. If Lauren's story moved you or if some part of you knows there's something deeper waiting to surface, I'd love to invite you to join one of my next three-day water fasts.~

~It's the perfect entry point to experience what real stillness, clarity, and healing feels like in your own body. The healing, the link is below. Actually, I'm gonna go back. Okay.~ Thank you so much for listening. I know your time and, and attention are valuable, and I'm very grateful that you chose to spend your time with me today.

If Lauren's story moved you or if some part of you knows that something deeper is waiting to surface, I'd love to invite you to join one of my next three-day water fasts. It's the perfect entry point to experience what real stillness, clarity, and healing feels like in your own body. The link is below.

Thanks so [00:43:00] much.